typical boy, typical girl

my guy friends often tell me that i must not generalize men. only the bravest of them will admit to what i, together with a lot of my girlfriends, have come to conclude as typical men behavior when in a romantic relationship. my boyfriend, of course, insists that i expound on this before he gives me a piece of his mind. so here goes...

whenever a girlfriend of mine is being wooed by a guy, you know, the typical let-me-follow-you-around-like-a-lovesick-puppy, or the let-me-send-you-a-have-you-eaten-na text, or the unfailing baguio-is-not-far-from-alabang-i-can-drive-you-there-i-don't-mind line, we always tell her that she should enjoy that 'stage' since it is the most nakakakilig part of the whole story, and make sure she prolongs this period. and i am telling you, this is one advice girls should take seriously from their girlfriends because it is almost always the truth.

we say it is the most nakakakilig because this is the stage wherein the boy makes the girl feel almost like a princess. suddenly he has to carry her things (even her pink purse), walk her to class (which is 3 buildings away from his own class), make sure she's eaten her lunch, and the list can go on forever. in short, he willl do almost anything humanly possible just to make her happy, just to show her that he really, really likes her.

and we girls sometimes get swept off our feet to be whisked off to cloud 9 and 7th heaven.

let's say the boy's efforts pay off, and they become a couple. a few weeks, months even, of what they call, the 'honeymoon period' wherein the two are just inseparable with stars in their eyes. then, that's when the second part of the girlfriends' advice come in handy (prolong the wooing period) as the guy takes a little breather from launching his all-out i-will-pluck-the-moon-from-the-skies-for-you mode. we gotta admit, that could really take its toll on a boy's resources...physical and financial...hehe...

when he was wooing the girl, he missed out on a lot of gimiks with the boys, basketball games (or whatever sport the boy is into), gym workouts, and what have you's. now that she's safely his, he now falls back, albeit slowly and cautiously, into his usual routine.

i don't want to further dig into this because i don't want to come off as if i'm complaining. i am very happy, very content, and very much in love, with my man, thank you. (babe, go and read that again...hehe)

what i just want to say is that this notion of the 'typical boy' isn't a creation of women at all. i think, boys get the technical merit for this as they unconsciously fall into this category. i want to be fair and say that some boys really don't do all that just to get the girl then make a 360-degree character shift. maybe it just is difficult for the boy to show the girl how much she means to him, much more to make her believe him, that he has to resort to great lengths to prove to her that he really does care for her.

but then, undeniably, there are cases wherein the guy really fails in comparison with his manliligaw self. remember the song with the line, "you don't bring me flowers anymore"? maybe this is what that song is about. i think some, and emphasis on some, boys are like salesmen when they woo a girl. magaling mag-sales talk, pagkatapos wala na. i've seen this happen to a lot of my girlfriends and that's just plain sad.

in any case, i guess things really have to be 'normal' again for the couple. being followed around by a guy everyday isn't normal unless you're a hollywood actress, and admittedly, it can get suffocating to be constantly asked whether you've eaten your lunch, or whether you've slept well. and i think, as a couple, you both create a 'new normal' wherein you incorporate both of your realities. sounds romantic to me...

perhaps for girls, it becomes a little hard to accept that the wooing stage cannot go on forever. a little girl daydreams of being a princess and when a guy comes into her adult life treating her like one, it becomes difficult to let go and return to being her normal self. it doesn't mean that when a guy doesn't shower you with as much attention as before, he loves you less. i think if a girl does her best to understand the guy, he will actually appreciate her more.

personally, i sometimes launch into this "we're-not-spending-as-much-time-together-as-before" mode but i really, really try to talk myself out of it because i understand that i am not the only concern my boyfriend has. sometimes i'm successful, sometimes i'm not. and for the times i fail to talk myself out of it, i just tell my boyfriend that it's a "typical girl thing." i don't know if he buys it, but it's the closest to the truth i can find. i read even lucy torres launches into this mode sometimes. and she says it's a girly thing to do. so there.

the most important thing for me regarding this "issue," i guess, is that love will allow you to accept the different facets of a relationship, whether typical or difficult. for as long as you are loved, treated well, and respected, i suppose that is royal treatment enough.

i think in a relationship, one has to remember that while it takes two to tango, it also takes two to tangle. so if you want it to work, you must work at it without fail. that, i say, is the typical thing to do.