love means never having to say ________

back when i was 13 or 14, my boyfriend told me i didn't have to thank him for the "good deeds" he did for me like opening the car door, driving me home, helping me carry my things, etc. when i asked him why, he said that it was because these things were already expected of him as a boyfriend so i didn't have to thank him as i would a stranger or a friend. since i was younger than he was, and i didn't know any better, i happily played along. hey, it was fun to be pampered like that, you know. as i've always said, there's nothing like being with a perfect gentleman.

now, 10 years after, i am faced with some sort of righteous indignation at how sometimes, even when things are kind of already expected of you given the multiple roles you assume in life--daughter, girlfriend, friend, what have you, you never get the 'thank you' you deserve. and i mean not only in the verbal sense of being appreciated, but perhaps, in other manifestations of basic courtesy and gratitude.

of course, it's absurd to thank people for everything good they do for us, right? because if that were the case, we'd all constantly be thanking our mothers. however, i think what i'm trying to say is that sometimes, not all the time, we have to let people know or feel, that we appreciate their presence in our lives. i guess the need to feel dearly valued when you put so much of yourself out there is but an expression of the basic human condition--that there is a sense of brokenness in all of us, a constant tugging of the 'who we are' and the 'who we want to be.' i guess in the end, all we want is an affirmation that we, in all the roles we play, are making our own imprints in somebody else's life. i don't think that is too much to ask.